I acknowledge your pain...

Andy:

- All right, everyone! This… is a stick-up! Don’t anybody move! Now, empty that safe! Ooh-hoo-hoo! Money, money, money!
- Stop it! Stop it, you mean, old potato!
- Quiet, Bo Peep or your sheep get run over!
- Help! Baa! Help us!
- Oh, no, not my sheep! Somebody do something!
- (Woody’s voice box) Reach for the sky!
- Oh, no! Sheriff Woody!
- I’m here to stop you, One-Eyed Bart.
- Doh! How’d you know it was me?
- Are you gonna come quietly?
- You can’t touch me, Sheriff! I brought my attack dog with the built-in force field.
- Well, I brought my dinosaur who eats force-field dogs. You’re going to jail, Bart! Say goodbye to the wife and tater tots.

I swear I was just going to cap one or two lines, and then this happened. This has to be the most epic opening to a movie ever. I wish I had this kid’s imagination.

Mr. Potato Head: Hey, Hamm. Look, I’m Picasso!
Hamm: I don’t get it.
Mr. Potato Head: You uncultured swine! What’re you lookin’ at, ya hockey puck?

Woody: Hey, who moved my doodle pad way over here?
Rex: (ROAR)
Woody: How’re you doin’, Rex?
Rex: Were you scared? Tell me honestly.
Woody: I was close to being scared that time.
Rex: I’m going for fearsome here, but I just don’t feel it. I think I’m just coming off as annoying.

Bo Peep: What do you say I get someone else to watch the sheep tonight? Remember, I’m just a couple of blocks away.

Woody: Tuesday night’s plastic corrosion awareness meeting was, I think, a big success. And we wanna thank Mr. Spell for putting that on for us. Thank you, Mr. Spell.
Mr. Spell: You’re welcome.